The pressure of having a magical holiday season can weigh on those of us who struggle with our mental health. I see some of my students struggle during this time of year because the inequities among families are even more apparent than ususal. Whether it is mentioning the cost of gifts, extravagant trips, or large parties, it seems there is always an opportunity for someone to feel left out or less than.
Even though I am grateful to have my husband and children to spend the holidays with, I am also constantly reminded of my missing family members and it puts a damper on my holiday joy. When my heart aches for the people I miss the most, I remind myself that suffering is the gateway to compassion. I transmute the pain I am feeling into energy to be there for others. When my students start shutting down or acting up, I am reminded of how challenging this time of year is for me as well. As everyone embraces the holiday spirit in full force, I brace myself for the flood of grief I know will come when I am simultaneously experiencing joy with my family. Both can be true: I can enjoy and struggle with the holidays all at once.
My lived experience allows me to have the opportunity to relate to others who are suffering and I see that as a gift. I have always felt “unrelatable” which is apparently not word recognized by Dictionary.com which coincidently proves my point. I have never looked at someone and, thought to myself: She must know what it’s like to be me. I haven’t had anyone to model an effective way to manage my big emotions and highly sensitive personality. I’ve always feel like I’m on the outside looking in and I’m still not entirely convinced I know anyone who would be willing to tell me they feel the same way. I am the living, breathing version of the unpopular opinion.
And so I choose to have realistic expectations regarding the holidays and all the triggers and glimmers that are sure to follow. You may think I’m a Grinch for not watching a different Christmas movie for each of the next 24 days of December, but I say I’m just realistic for only watching a few and only when there isn’t a new episode of Real Housewives to watch instead. And in defense of the Grinch, I recently read a meme that said he never actually hated Christmas, just people and I can relate to that.
